There’s something new on my wish list.
At my office, we have a very functional (well, mostly functional) old school paper cutter. You know, the kind that every elementary school had in the back of the office in the 1970s, usually green or “natural” with a heavy blade on the side, and room for small fingers to get snipped if you’re not careful. The blade makes that unique slicing sound as it goes down through the paper, and the firmness with which you hold the handle – and the paper – affects how clean your cut is.
But sometimes, no matter how careful you are, no matter how practiced your technique is, the paper slips and your cut is no longer straight, but the slant is so small when you try to fix it the paper just folds instead of cuts.
(So I’m told.)
Today I was looking for something completely different in the supply catalog, and I saw a photo that, I swear, had light shining from it – kind of a glow, a “look at me, I can solve every problem you ever had and some you didn’t know about yet” aura, and I was sucked in.
I want this paper cutter. This Rotary LED Trimmer. When I first read the name, I read it as “rotary-led” like the rotary blade leads the cut. Which was way cool to contemplate. Especially when you see how the cutting edge can swing around, letting you cut at an angle (and I am guessing there are actual angle measurements on there, taking the guess-work out of cutting.) But the truth is bigger than that.
It’s actually LED. Light-Emitting Diode. And I quote:
LED illuminating rail for accurate sheet alignment.
Wow. What does this mean? A glowing plumb-line of sorts, to guide your cut? To let you see just where the blade is going to hit? A landing-strip light pathway to guide you? I don’t care, any of the above would be wonderous, I am in.
Then I glanced at the price tag, and sadly (thanks to living in the nonprofit world), it’s quite unlikely that I will be purchasing this luxurious item any time soon. But, you never know. Perhaps a donor will come in one day and say to me “I am making a donation and I want you to use it for something that will not only make your job easier, but also give you chills and thrills when you use it.” And hand me a $100 bill. And I will be so ready to buy a paper-trimmer-to-beat-all-paper-trimmers.